I'm mesmerized by the evolving situation at St. Leo the Great Catholic parish in Fairfax, Va., where the popular music director resigned after she was quoted in the Post criticizing the Catholic church's treatment of women.
There's a whole specific brouhaha over whether the pastor demanded she resign (as she says) or if she was the one who suggested stepping aside (as he says), but what's most interesting to me is watching the intensity of human beings grappling with the messiness of living out their faith. We wrote briefly about this in the paper, but I wanted to give Under God readers more insight as I'm getting tons of e-mails from parishioners who are all over the map on this subject.
Syliva Mulherin, the music director, is a former nun married to a former priest. Her Facebook page is plastered with her love for liturgical music and Christianity. The main photo is of her sitting at a church organ, and the page links to a quiz -- "Which mighty women of the Bible are you most like?" -- and to "my favorite organists."
I only spoke with her once before she cut off contact and demanded her family do the same, but in her words I heard something I hear often as a religion reporter: a person pained by the intense moral standoffs inherent in organized religion. The 70-year-old mother of two choked on tears as she begged me not to write about her situation at St. Leo's, one moment sounding like she was explaining partially to herself that "the church is not a democratic institution; either you're a part of it or you're not," and then the next moment sounding betrayed, in mourning about a diocese where she's worked for a quarter-century, sort of unbelieving that she was unable to voice her opinion.
Meanwhile, e-mails are flying among parishioners at the large, very traditional St. Leo's, and include a good deal of internal conflict.
One parent who supports Mulherin described to me how she was struggling to explain to her young children why their choir director was suddenly gone, without leaving them angry at their church. "I tried to tell them this is something that could happen. That the church is not a democracy, that in America you can have free speech, but that doesn't necessarily apply here. I don't know, it was one of our first hard discussions. I'm still going through the emotions myself."
In one e-mail chain between members of the church music community, another parent described feeling protective in an opposite direction. "The church has the right and the duty to ensure that our young ones are in the care of someone who defends the faith."
I heard from multiple parish and diocese employees and people who attend St. Leo's who are livid that Mulherin had to go and believe Rev. David Whitestone is lying about the circumstances of her resignation.
"I won't be going back to church in this diocese. How can you respect a pastor who lies? Ironically the word of the week at St. Leo's school is 'honesty' You'd laugh except it makes you want to cry."
Whose side are you on? How do you deal with such conflicts in your congregation?