Chicago, USA - On the window ledge of her Edgewater apartment, where she prays, Barbara Zeman keeps a cross, a pile of sacred books and a small, plush black sheep. Zeman said the sheep is a symbol of women's exclusion from priesthood in the Roman Catholic Church.
But Zeman and others are fighting to change their black-sheep status by taking the bold step of ordaining themselves.
On Saturday, an activist group hoping to pressure the church into dropping the ban on women's ordination will hold a ceremony at a Protestant church where they will declare Zeman a Catholic priest. The Vatican has warned that participants in such ordinations are automatically excommunicated.
"I am disobeying an unjust law. I am following my conscience, and I am obeying God's call," said Zeman, 60, who also is studying to become a hospital chaplain. "I'm not doing this for myself. I'm doing this for the generations of women to come, because I don't want those women to have the fight that I've had."
The ceremony, to be held at St. Paul's United Church of Christ in Lincoln Park, is being organized by Roman Catholic Womenpriests, an organization that is not recognized by the Catholic Church. The group, which began in 2002, also will ordain three women as deacons in preparation for priesthood.
The Vatican has said repeatedly that only men can be ordained priests because Jesus did not call women to be apostles, and because the priest stands in the image of Jesus, who was male. Officials with the Chicago archdiocese denounced the ceremony and reiterated the Vatican decree that states the person who ordains the woman, as well as the woman herself, will be excommunicated. An excommunicated person is forbidden to receive the sacraments.
"Cardinal [Francis] George could declare that those persons have been excommunicated by the law itself, but they are excommunicated whether the cardinal declares them so or not," said Susan Burritt, an archdiocese spokeswoman.
Despite the threats and punishment, the Womenpriests movement continues to perform ordinations in defiance of church authority in the United States and around the world. This year, seven women were named priests in Boston, Oregon, Minnesota, Kentucky and California. After Zeman's ordination in Chicago, the group says it will have ordained 35 women in the U.S.
Dana Reynolds, a California woman who serves as the group's U.S. bishop, will preside over Zeman's ordination.
As the group gains more exposure, their ordinations have sparked a mixture of support and controversy. In June, St. Louis Archbishop Raymond Burke punished a nun for attending an ordination held in November 2007. Burke forced out Sister Louise Lears from all church ministerial roles and banned her from receiving sacraments.
In Kentucky, another woman's ordination made headlines in August when a male Catholic priest, Rev. Roy Bourgeois, concelebrated the ceremony and gave a homily in support of women priests. Bourgeois, a Maryknoll priest and activist, received a canonical warning from his superiors and was ordered not to participate in future ordinations.
Zeman, who was born and raised Catholic in Cleveland, said her calling to the church has been in her heart for several years. But, she was unsure how to fulfill her mission. After college, she was married, but divorced after eight years. The breakup prompted her to move to Chicago, where she started a business. At the same time, Zeman continued following her spiritual call, working in church as a lector and Eucharistic minster.
Still feeling pulled to ministry, Zeman received a master's degree in theology from Loyola University and started ministering at the Madonna della Strada Chapel. Then in 2006, she heard that Patricia Fresen, a Womenpriests bishop, was speaking in Chicago. Zeman said that was a turning point.
"I listened to her speak, and tears were rolling down my face. I felt this sense of calm unfolding," Zeman said. "I knew that every experience led me to this moment."
Zeman said she does not accept being punished and excommunicated from the Catholic Church. After ordination, she plans to become a hospital chaplain and is considering starting a congregation for disenfranchised Catholics that would include gays, lesbians and clergy who have left priesthood to marry.
"I don't like the thought of what might happen," she said with tears in her eyes. "I'm not doing this unaware of the consequences. I'm aware. I just think that the goal and the change are far greater than the consequences."