IT starts with the word "G'day" and tells the yarn of how a very special sheila in the backblocks called Mary gets preggers.
Mary gives birth to a boy, wraps him in a bunny rug and tucks him up in a feed trough in the back shed because the local pub is full to bursting.
The baby is, of course, God's little toddler in the greatest story ever told – Aussie style.
The Aussie Bible tells Australians the story of Jesus in their own lingo – which, if it can be called a separate language, becomes the 2304th the bible has been translated into.
Author Kel Richards was inspired by a teacher in London's East End who had a crack at doing the same thing for his students in Cockney rhyming slang.
He narrates how the drovers (shepherds) "shot through like a Toorak tram" to Bethlehem.
Boss cocky Herod was "as jumpy as a wallaby on hot rocks", so he gathered together a bunch of smart blokes with "more degrees than a thermometer".
The three wise guys "bowed and scraped and gave Jesus some terrific pressies – gold and frankincense and myrrh (strange pressies for a baby but better than a hankie or a pair of socks)".
The prodigal son's return gave his Dad cause to "crack open a keg" and fire up another barbie.
Jesus occasionally "does his lolly".
"You're as thick as three short planks," he tells the Sadducees, a bunch who don't believe in life after death.
The Ocker 23rd psalm includes the stanzas:
"God is the Station Owner, and I am just one of the
sheep.
He musters me down to the lucerne flats, and feeds me
there all week.
"When I'm feeling poorly, and at something less than my peak,
He leads me to the restfulness of a coolabah shaded
creek...
"Although there are dingoes in the hills
And the paddocks are full of snakes,
God serves up a barbecue
Of beautiful T-bone steaks."
The Aussie Bible, retold by Kel Richards, published by the Bible Society of NSW, RRP $5.95.